Coaches: They’re Watching Even When They’re Not Asking

Yesterday I wore this shirt—"She is not your quick fix"—to our 90-minute open gym.

It’s not from our TeamsOfMen line, but from She Is Not Your Rehab—a movement I deeply respect (and recommend you check out). I didn’t build a conversation around the shirt during the session. I didn’t call attention to it. I just coached.

No one stopped to ask what the shirt meant.
No one pulled me aside.
No one said, “Coach, explain that.”

But that doesn’t mean it didn’t matter.

I’ve worn a lot of message shirts over the years. Some are our own mantra tees. Some are from other movements I believe in. And at this point, I think the guys are just used to it—used to looking up at Coach’s chest and seeing something worth thinking about.

And that’s the point.

Sometimes growth doesn’t look like a lightbulb moment. Sometimes curiosity takes a while to convert to courage. Especially for the younger guys—they may not even feel comfortable asking me about basketball yet, let alone masculinity and trauma recovery.

But here’s what I know:
I want to be a coach who’s always reppin’ what he believes in.
Even if they don’t say anything today, they’re watching. They’re logging it.
And one day, maybe it won’t surprise them to hear the words or see the message again—because they’ve been seeing it for years.

Yes, it would be amazing to wear a shirt that immediately shifts a kid’s worldview.
But I’ll take this too:
“My coach always stood on business. He showed us what mattered—consistently, without fear.”

I didn’t say a word. But I still coached.

Coach Prompt:

When was the last time your players saw you wear a message louder than your voice?
What are you silently modeling every day—on purpose or by accident?

Player Prompt:

If your coach never said a word, would you still know what he believes in?
What messages are you paying attention to without realizing it?