Flip This Script To Ourselves
Let’s start with this: today’s blog isn’t a takedown of Phil Beckner’s post — it’s solid. But if we’re honest, most of us coaches saw it and immediately started diagnosing our players.
So here’s the flip: what happens if we apply that same formulaic approach to ourselves?
What if our version — ACTIONS THAT EXPRESS COACH CHARACTERISTICS — looked something like this:
Always uses harsh volume when talking
Never expresses gratitude to others
Always says “Just do what I told you”
Invades personal space
Talks about player faults to other players
Has no mechanism for feedback about his approach
If those were the actions, what would the character traits be?
Below is where I landed after taking a hard look in the mirror. But this isn’t meant to be my list — it’s an exercise. Print it. Bring it to your next staff meeting. Or better yet, do it with your players. See how they fill in the blanks.
The goal isn’t shame — it’s awareness.
Because the real win might not be another practice drill, but a shared agreement on the kind of coaches we refuse to be.
Coach Prompt:
When was the last time you looked at your own coaching behaviors the way you study film of your players? Which of these actions have crept into your habits — and what might that be saying about the state of your own emotional fluency?
Player Prompt:
If your coaches filled out this list together, what trait would you want to describe them? And what behaviors from your side could help them live up to that version of themselves?
