Foggy Isn’t Lazy & Frozen Isn’t Defiant.

I read something today that hit hard.

An Edutopia article by Clementina Jose titled Recognizing and Addressing Emotional Overload to Better Support Students explored how students’ behavior is often misunderstood. Every sentence felt like it could’ve been about us as coaches.

Especially this one:

“These assumptions, while often made out of genuine concern or exhaustion, are typically rooted in a misunderstanding of what we are actually witnessing: not defiance, not disinterest, but emotional overload.”

I’ve said those things. Heard them in film sessions. Felt them after a sloppy practice.
“He’s just being lazy.”
“He’s not pushing himself.”
“He doesn’t care.”

But what if we’re wrong?

What if that stillness, silence, or shut-down look we label as laziness… is actually the body protecting itself? A freeze response. An emotional overload.

What if motivation isn’t just mindset, but also emotional capacity?

This is where emotional fluency has to live in our programs. We’re failing our players if we don’t teach them how to recognize what’s happening inside—and how to say it out loud in ways that don’t cost them respect, playing time, or their spot.

We train them in game communication. Why wouldn’t we train them for this?

Whether it's “I’m buffering,” “I’m in turtle mode,” or just “I need a sec,” we can build program language—mantras and cues that normalize overwhelm without excusing disengagement.

Coach Prompt:
Think back to a moment this past season when you thought a player was being lazy or disengaged. Could it have been emotional overload? How might you ask differently next time?

Player Prompt:
What’s one short phrase or cue you’d feel comfortable saying when your brain feels foggy or overwhelmed? How could we all respect that signal without judgment?

Be sure to read the full article (link to in first paragraph)