Friendship Is a Skill, Not a Biological Advantage
I was driving while listening to the podcast episode above, and after calming myself down from Simmons dropping my guy Dak Prescott into the third tier of his QB pyramid, I was excited to hear an actual (though probably unintentional) dive into a Man Box topic on a podcast that gets millions of listeners.
Things I resonated with:
NOT finding ways to align my friends’ schedules with mine more than 1–2 times per year (true whether it’s buddies from across the country or guys in the same city).
Remembering that in our 20s and early 30s, we were together in person a lot more.
Things I immediately wanted to “call in” and say, “No, guys—you’re presenting these as biological truths, when you’ve actually been socialized by the Man Box to believe and limit yourself with them”:
“Women are better at maintaining friendships” – No. Women have simply been allowed to cultivate in their souls the importance of friendship. We have the same tools; we just put them down to maintain some awful idea of alphaness.
“Is this guy trying to fight me if he looks at me” + “men don’t like sitting in a circle” – Horsesh*t. We’re uncomfortable because we haven’t repped it enough to see its benefits and the connection potential it creates.
Finally, I appreciated Simmons’ (again, probably unintentional) honesty:
“Yeah, you’re like, ‘Hey, I’m in town, can I come over?’ I was delighted.”
We do like seeing one another. We do like personal connection. And it’s OKAY to admit that.
🎧 Listen here at the 1:01 mark
Coach Prompts
When was the last time you reached out to a coaching peer just to connect—not for scouting or scheduling?
How might your coaching staff’s culture shift if in-person connection between staff members was as regular as your practice schedule?
What’s one “Man Box” belief about male friendship you’ve caught yourself reinforcing with your athletes?
Player Prompts
Who’s a teammate you like but haven’t hung out with outside of practice or games? Why not?
What would it look like if your friend group made connection a priority instead of an afterthought?
How do you feel when you’re in a “circle conversation” vs. watching something side-by-side? Which do you avoid, and why?
