If You Think It’s Not in Your Team Room, Prove It

I was ANGRY writing today’s blog. I saw this post, and the father bear in me raised up immediately imagining some teenage boy calling my autistic son a “Tylenol-American.”

My rage only intensified when I scrolled through the comments. Mostly fathers (or bots pretending to be dads) laughing, celebrating, and telling each other they needed to spread this garbage further.

In the midst of my anger, though, I had to recognize a hard truth: this could be happening in schools across the country. And if it’s in schools, it’s in team rooms.

Now, if your first reaction is, “Not in mine, Kip,” I hope that’s true. I hope you can point to the exact expectations and deep discussions you’ve already had with your guys that fuel your confidence.

For example: in our program, we have an explicit mandate that racist, homophobic, misogynistic, or ableist language won’t be allowed in our spaces — and we fortify that with Words Matter sessions.

I hope you can point to the last time one of your guys said the r-word, or a racist word, or “bitch,” and you modeled how to interrupt it. If you can’t, then you’ve got reflection, interrogation, and action to take up.

Because here’s the truth: autism is present in roughly 1 in every 30–35 kids. That means if you’ve got a roster that size or bigger, you already have players directly — or through a sibling, parent, or loved one — who feel this nonsense deeply. What you allow, you endorse. What you interrupt, you reshape.

Coach Prompts

• What explicit expectations have you set for language in your team space?

• When was the last time you modeled interrupting harmful language in real time?

• Are your standards clear enough that every player knows what is and isn’t acceptable speech?

Player Prompts

• Have you ever laughed along at a word or “joke” you knew was wrong because you didn’t want to stand out?

• How would it feel if someone used a slur that hit you or your family directly?

• What’s one way you could back up a teammate in the moment if they’re targeted by language like this?