It’s Easy to Say “Not My Guys”—Until It Is
One of my “Kip-isms” I share often with coaches when they’re exploring the why and how of TeamsOfMen conversations with players is this: current events never fail to give you curriculum. Yesterday’s college football slate proved it again.
(NOTE: this isn’t some kind of testimony to the “evil of football.” Despite spending my entire life coaching hoops, I’m probably more of a fan of the gridiron.)
The three incidents in the images above—Arch Manning taunting an opponent, a UAB player intentionally stomping on the Tennessee kicker’s foot, and a high school football player crashing out and swinging at a helmetless opponent—are ripe for both staff review and player discussion.
Too often when we see trending clips of athletes losing emotional regulation and lashing out, we respond in one of two ways:
That would never happen to my guys.
That dude would be gone from our program.
Maybe both are true in your case. But I’d bet the coaches of these same athletes would have said the same thing 24 hours earlier.
The reality is this: if we aren’t reflecting on and interrogating the processes we have in place to prevent these kinds of outbursts, then we’re just finger-pointing. And if we aren’t discussing what our actual response and rehabilitation path would be—beyond platitudes—then we’re not preparing ourselves or our players.
We can’t settle for distance or denial. We need to embrace #MirrorTraining.
Coach Prompts
When’s the last time we actually repped emotional regulation like we do a drill, instead of just assuming it will show up on game day?
If this happened in our program tomorrow, do we know what the consequence and the rehabilitation path would look like?
Do we only talk about composure when things go wrong, or are we embedding it in daily practice plans?
Player Prompts
How do you usually release energy when you’re hyped before a game?
What’s the line between confidence and disrespect? Who draws that line—you, your coach, or the officials?
When a teammate loses control, do you step in, stay silent, or join in? Why?
