Showing Up Isn’t Extra Credit

I came across this video of a young person lighting up when they spotted their dad in the crowd at a school event — it’s an awesome, heart-melting moment. You can literally see the joy burst across their face in real time.

But it also got me thinking about something deeper. The caption says, “Shoutout to the dads who show up.” And while I get the sentiment, it immediately brought to mind Chris Rock’s line: “You don’t get a cookie for doing shit you’re supposed to do.”

Because honestly…aren’t we supposed to show up? Isn’t that parenting 101?

Now, full transparency — I’ve absolutely caught myself feeling proud, even self-congratulatory, for showing up at a game, practice, or school pickup. That’s not evil, but it’s revealing. Somewhere along the way, many of us men were conditioned to think being present and emotionally available was extra credit. That’s the Man Box at work.

So no, this video isn’t a call-out — it’s a call-in. It’s a reminder to normalize being awesome at fatherhood. To make showing up the baseline, not the breakthrough.

And the best place to start that work? In your team room. Helping your players — many of whom are watching and learning what “manhood” means — see that being consistent, caring, and present isn’t something to brag about. It’s just what real men do.

Coach Prompts

• What do your players see modeled by you about presence and consistency?

• Do you ever treat “showing up” as something special instead of standard?

• How can your staff normalize presence — not praise it as rare?

Player Prompts

• Who are the people who consistently show up for you — and how do you show that back?

• How would your teammates describe your reliability off the court or field?

• Do you only value people who show up for the big moments, or the daily ones too?