Suppressed Pain, Explosive Consequences: A Challenge for Coaches

This post from @Mantalks hit me hard — especially the slide about suppressed pain in men.

“Many men grow up learning to suppress their pain—shoving it down, numbing it out, or exploding with emotional reactivity when it finally breaks through.”

This is the perfect entry point for coaches wondering if TeamsOfMen is worth their time.

Here’s the stress test: How do you respond to that statement?

• If you find yourself nodding, agreeing that it’s true, then you already know your players, staff, and maybe even yourself are going to face hardships that test your ability to process pain.

• If you bristle at it, or dismiss it, that’s data too. It probably means this work is going to hit uncomfortably close to home.

Either way — your response tells you if TeamsOfMen belongs in your program.

Look even one line deeper: “This repressed pain can cause men to shame others’ emotions.”
If you can’t immediately name the last time you stopped a player from doing exactly that in your locker room, you’ve got reflection work to do.

I wouldn’t call this a barrier to entry. It’s more like a Mirror Check — a way to see if you and your team can actually hold space for real growth, or if you’re just hoping your guys figure it out on their own.

Coach Prompts

• When’s the last time you checked your players’ language for shaming emotions — and interrupted it?

• How does your program create space for processing pain instead of burying it?

Player Prompts

• What’s your go-to move when you feel hurt — shove it down, lash out, or talk it out?

• Have you ever felt judged for showing emotion in this locker room?