Vice, Victimhood, and the Need to STFU
The following blog post is best read AFTER watching the clips below:
I tell people often that I’m usually a willing messenger, but that doesn’t always make me the right messenger. A lifetime of coaching and speaking has stripped away the fear of stepping on a stage and sharing my opinions, my journey, my failures. But I’ve also learned—sometimes painfully—that just because I want to speak doesn’t mean I should. Sometimes, like many men, I need to learn how to take up less space and be quiet.
That lesson feels relevant here with Michael Porter Jr.
One generous reading of his recent now viral podcast clips is that he’s trying vulnerability—sharing his struggles with faith, women, and self-discipline. But the way he frames it exposes how unprepared he is to communicate without reinforcing the very tropes that got him stuck in the first place. A harsher, and maybe more accurate, reading: this is a privileged athlete leaning into toxic ideology—objectifying women as “vices,” excusing himself as a “victim,” and even using Andrew Tate as some kind of filter-test for women.
That isn’t growth; that’s harm dressed up as honesty.
Even more concerning than MPJ’s words are the reactions—the podcast hosts sanitizing his takes, the comment sections praising him, the fans treating his perspective as gospel. Sometimes the bravest, most mature move a man can make isn’t doubling down on his half-formed takes. It’s learning when to stop talking.
Sometimes, fellas, we need to STFU.
Coach’s Prompt:
When have you felt like you weren’t the right messenger for a topic or moment with your team? How do you decide when to speak and when to hold back?
Player’s Prompt:
Think about someone you look up to. How do you filter what they say—deciding what’s worth learning from versus what might be harmful, incomplete, or flat-out wrong?
