Why Coaches Think This Work Isn’t for Their Guys — and Why They’re Wrong

I must give full credit to a colleague of mine (Maddie Brockbank) for the inspiration behind today’s post and prompts. It comes directly from listening to her presentation “Stories, Strategies and Impact” and a question she posed to the audience during that I am applying to coaches here today.

When you, as a coach, see a flyer, poster, or ad for something in your community — Take Back the Night, Hands Off, or even the street harassment flyer above — what’s your first thought? Do you see it as a growth opportunity for your guys? Do you imagine what support or insight they might gain from attending? Or do you immediately start rattling off reasons why it’s “not for them”?

That’s the exercise today. Ask yourself: why don’t you believe it applies to your program? And if you can’t see the relevance for your players, is that because of them — or because of you?

Maddie’s point was that we can’t authentically challenge our guys to step up in these spaces if we aren’t willing to ask those questions of ourselves and our staff first. Too often, young men shrug off the invitation with “I’m one of the good guys.” But if we as coaches echo that same posture — that gender violence prevention, anti-harassment, or healthy masculinity work is “someone else’s thing” — then we’ve already failed in creating a culture where showing up matters.

Coach Prompt

When a prevention or awareness event pops up in your community, what’s your first instinct about involving your players — and what does that say about the standards you’re modeling?

Player Prompt

When you see a flyer or post about an event addressing harassment or violence, what’s your gut reaction? Do you dismiss it, or do you consider how it might connect to your life and your team?