Authenticity Without Reflection Is Just Stagnation
This post from @isaiahfrizzelle stopped my scroll today, and I think not only should you play it for your guys, but you should also use it to reflect on the mechanisms you and your staff have in place for your players when they make poor decisions as human beings.
I’ve often wondered myself: If I’m the “find your authentic self / be your authentic self” guy, what does that mean if my true self causes harm?
That’s where I think we have to base identity in fluidity, not rigidity.
I am someone who is chasing better always. That means allowing myself room to grow, to unlearn, to drop bad habits, and to evolve.
If we want our programs to embrace that same mindset, then we can — and must — hold our guys accountable for their actions without confusing that with rejection. That’s not punishment; that’s coaching for growth.
When you translate this to the court or field, the analogy writes itself: We would never let a player say, “Coach, I can’t learn that new skill — I’ve got to stay being me.” So why would we ever accept that logic in their character?
Grace doesn’t mean enabling. Accountability doesn’t mean condemnation.
Both are essential if we’re truly building men who can live out what they learn with us.
Coach Prompts
When a player makes a mistake, does your first instinct lean toward protection or accountability?
How do you model “chasing better” for your staff and players — not just talking about it?
What mechanisms do you have for helping players reflect after causing harm instead of just serving consequences?
Are you offering grace that leads to growth or grace that allows stagnation?
Player Prompts
When you make a mistake, do you take ownership — or hope it’ll fade away?
What’s one area of your character you’ve outgrown because someone held you accountable?
How do you know when you’re being shown grace… and when you’re being enabled?
If being “yourself” is causing harm, what part of yourself might need unlearning?
