When Caring Sounds Messy, But Still Matters

This post, capturing a desperate plea from a coach to a young man thinking about quitting his program, has my mind (and heart) pulled in a lot of directions.

Most of them are gratitude-based. Like the original poster, I’m thankful for coaches who care enough about their players’ real lives to reach out like this — the emotion and authenticity in his voice are things many of us have probably felt.

Do I wish he hadn’t said, “Be a man,” in the middle of his plea? Sure.
Do I not relate to ending it with, “I’m praying for you over everyone”? No — I get that.

But I don’t think I want to litigate the how here as much as praise the why. A coach using his platform to say, “I love you,” and “I care about what’s in front of you in life,” deserves recognition.

I’d encourage everyone to watch the clip for themselves and sit with the #MirrorTraining it provokes. [https://t.co/uWy7jrI7mT]

Coach Prompts

• When’s the last time you told one of your players “I love you” — out loud?

• How do you balance accountability and empathy when a player wants to walk away?

• Are there moments where your emotion might cloud — or clarify — your message?

• What would your staff say is the difference between coaching hard and showing heart?

Player Prompts

• What would it mean to you if your coach reached out like this?

• Have you ever walked away from something because you didn’t feel understood?

• How do you want the adults in your life to respond when you’re struggling?

• What kind of “love” from a coach actually helps you grow?