Debunk This With Your Players — Please
This post from former SF Giants player Aubrey Huff went viral last month, and as part of my job, I wanted to flag it as something coaches should actively debunk with their players. (Worth noting: if you click his account now, it no longer exists — draw your own conclusions. I’ve included a screenshot in the blog so we can focus on the content.)
Here’s how I’d use it with a team:
Put the bullet points of his so-called “seduction plan” on the screen. Then ask your guys:
“Have you seen dudes in your circle try this?”
If you coach high school players, ask if they’ve seen versions of this in the cafeteria, at Jamba Juice, or in the hallway between classes.
If they laugh and say, “Hell no,” ask them which parts are ridiculous — and why.
If they say, “Yeah, that should work,” ask them again: why?
Because when you actually read the plan, what you see isn’t confidence — it’s intimidation.
Forcing yourself into someone’s space.
Locking eyes until they have to disengage.
Putting a woman in an uncomfortable position where interaction is required just to exit the moment.
And remember, Huff claims “it works 9 times out of 10.”
Ask your guys what they think “works” means.
It’s almost certainly not mutual connection.
It’s almost certainly some version of “I got something from her.”
That’s the Man Box at work — turning women into outcomes, interactions into transactions, and discomfort into a strategy. And when young men internalize that script, they stop asking, “Is this welcome?” and start asking, “How do I force the result?”
That’s exactly the mindset we’re trying to interrupt.
Confidence isn’t coercion.
Presence isn’t pressure.
And if your “plan” only succeeds when someone feels cornered, it didn’t work — it harmed.
COACH PROMPTS
What behaviors are your players confusing with “confidence”?
How often do young men see intimidation modeled as attraction in media and online spaces?
How can you help players define success in relationships without entitlement?
PLAYER PROMPTS
How would you feel if someone used this approach on someone you care about?
What’s the difference between confidence and making someone uncomfortable?
What does real interest look like when both people actually have a choice?
