When Scripts Fail, Men Get Dangerous
I saw this 35-second clip from a stand-up comedian on Instagram and immediately thought: our guys need this.
He says it plainly, humorously, and dead on: Women don’t owe you anything.
Not because you bought flowers.
Not because you fixed a computer.
Not because you paid for dinner.
Not because you were “nice.”
He repeats: “Women aren’t vending machines you put kindness into until sex falls out. They’re not coffee cards where ten stamps earns you access to their body.”
This matters — especially for athletes.
Because too many young men are still living inside scripts that say: effort equals entitlement. And in sports spaces, that script gets reinforced in subtle ways: wins, status, attention, stats, visibility — all quietly sold as proof you’ve “earned something.”
So when the script doesn’t play out? When the interest doesn’t turn sexual? When someone says no?
Men don’t pause and reflect.
They flip.
They rage.
At best, they say awful things.
At worst, they do awful things.
That’s why this clip isn’t just funny — it’s preventative.
Here’s how I’d use it with a team:
Play it. Sit in silence.
Play it again. Sit again.
Play it a third time.
Then ask for reactions.
Not lectures. Not debates. Just honesty.
Because if your players can’t internalize that no one owes them access — ever, then we’re failing them long before they leave our locker rooms.
COACH PROMPTS
Where do athletes quietly learn the idea that success or effort equals entitlement?
Have you ever explicitly said to your team that kindness does not obligate intimacy?
How can silence after a clip be more powerful than explanation?
PLAYER PROMPTS
Where did you first learn the idea that doing “enough” earns you sex?
How do you usually react internally when a script you expected doesn’t happen?
What would change if you removed entitlement from your expectations completely?
