If You Don’t Know the Language, You Can’t Know the Harm

I watched this TikTok today (link here)—a dad listing slang he knows, and his teenage daughter correcting him with the new version. It’s lighthearted, funny, and honestly… revealing.

Because if I don’t know that “huzz” means “girls”
or “chopped” means “ugly” how in the world would I recognize it when my players are saying harmful things about women in front of me?

This isn’t just a video for parents. It’s for coaches, too.
Teachers. Mentors. Anyone trying to lead.

We can’t teach or unlearn with our players if we can’t speak their language.
We can’t call them up to a better standard if we’re stuck translating every sentence or pretending it doesn’t matter.

And to be clear—this isn’t about playing “Gotcha!”
It’s not about collecting slang so we can bust them for what they say. It’s about building a culture of shared understanding—where curiosity, connection, and clarity matter more than just barking rules or clinging to “what worked for us.”

Because when we understand what words mean to our guys—why they use them, what they signal—we can actually ask better questions.

• Why that word?

• What do you think it communicates?

• How do you think it lands?

• Where did you hear it first?

• Would you say it in front of your mom? Your girlfriend? Your coach?

You can even flip the script. Share some your old language and let your guys roast it. Lean into the awkward. Laugh with them. Then pivot to the real talk.

Because relationship ≠ authority. And without relationship, authority is empty anyway.

Coach Prompt:
When was the last time you asked your players to teach you something about how they talk?

Player Prompt:
What’s a word you use that you know could be misunderstood—or be hurtful to someone else? Where’d it come from?