We've talked about DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) in this space before.
It is a classic tactic deployed by men (and their legal teams and inner circle supporters) when they have been accused of violence against women in any form, and I believe we saw a version of that victim-offender reversal on full display last night by Green Bay Packers RB Josh Jacobs on national television.
After scoring a TD in the game against the Carolina Panthers, Jacobs decided it was time to break out a celebration that appeared to show him mimicking a perp walk in handcuffs, as if to signal that HE, the man who faced allegations including felony strangulation and suffocation, battery, criminal damage to property, disorderly conduct, and intimidation involving his then girlfriend, was somehow the victim. Jacobs subsequently pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery and was convicted on that charge.
Whether or not that was his intended message, the optics are staggering.
The man is appearing to celebrate his freedom from restraints after being unable to play a child's game for a few weeks.
You can't make up this level of apparent indifference to the woman involved, or the message this celebration sends to his legion of football fans.
It's disgusting. And you SHOULD be mad about it.
And it gets worse.
Later, this man, when confronted by the press about the celebration, explained that it was an ode to a gospel song and that the TV cameras hadn't captured the entire celebration.
That song?
Called "Break Every Chain."
Fine. Let's take that explanation seriously for a moment.
What chain man? What the hell are you talking about?
You were convicted of battery involving your former girlfriend, served a suspension, and returned to playing professional football. And somehow the image you're choosing to celebrate with is breaking free from restraints?
Even if that was genuinely the intention, where is the awareness of what that communicates?
Where is the awareness of what happened to HER?
You brought ALL OF THIS UPON YOURSELF through the conduct that led to your conviction.
YOU DID THIS.
I'm not even going to diminish the stakes involved by using a sports analogy here. I'm going to use plain English.
"You were convicted of battery involving a woman and therefore didn't get to play football...and to be honest man, I don't think you should ever get to play football again."
The least that should happen to you involves removing the game.
It's uncanny how often this type of public reframing by men accused or convicted of harming women plays out the same way. Hurt a woman. Get caught. Get the slightest of penalty and present yourself as the one who has suffered. And everyone should feel sorry for the minor inconvenience that happened to your professional career.
Meanwhile, the woman involved is left to deal with the consequences of what happened to her, while fans rush to defend the athlete, question her credibility, or insist everyone should move on so you can tote the rock on 2nd Down next week.
We have to make this type of behavior SHUN worthy...OUTRAGE should be the response...we have to. We cannot be a society that claims it values the most vulnerable amongst us when we continue to champion those who abuse them.
Coaching Prompts
When an athlete has caused harm, how do you distinguish genuine accountability from simply serving a consequence and returning to normal?
How often do we allow an athlete's value to the team to influence our willingness to confront what they've done away from the game?
What are we teaching young men when we celebrate someone's return to competition without examining whether they've taken responsibility for the harm they caused?
Player Prompts
Agree or Disagree: Once an athlete has served his punishment, everyone should move on. Why?
What's the difference between feeling sorry for what happened to you after a bad decision and taking responsibility for what happened to someone else?
Why do we sometimes spend more time discussing what an accused or convicted athlete has lost than what the person harmed has experienced? Prompts
