We Are the Work — Even on the Good Days
The last few weeks in our team room gave me a perfect snapshot of why this work matters — and why it never ends.
First, the win.
This fall, we spent time connecting consent to something concrete for our guys: my locker, my stuff, my space. What it means to ask before using someone else’s things, and what it means to trust that you can leave your stuff unguarded in a shared space.
Then it showed up.
A junior needed smelling salts and asked a coach for another player’s number. The coach said, “Go ahead — he won’t mind.” And the kid paused and said,
“No — remember, we said we have to ask.”
That moment mattered.
That was language turning into action.
That was TeamsOfMen showing up without a worksheet or a speech.
And yeah — we all need those moments. Proof that what we’re saying actually sticks.
But a week later? Reality checked us.
Players started coming in:
“Coach, someone took my shorts.”
“My shooting shirt got stolen.”
“My stuff keeps getting moved.”
Same space. Same standards. Same conversations.
Different choices.
And that’s the truth of this work. Growth isn’t linear. Progress doesn’t cancel relapse. One breakthrough doesn’t eliminate the need for reinforcement.
So we don’t quit.
We don’t get cynical.
We don’t pretend the win means we’re done.
We create more intentional space.
We name what’s happening.
We keep teaching, correcting, and modeling.
Because consent isn’t a lesson you deliver.
It’s a practice you build.
And in this program, we don’t outsource that responsibility.
We are the work.
Every day.
COACH PROMPTS
Where have you seen your values show up in small, unscripted ways?
How do you respond when progress and regression coexist?
What systems could reinforce trust and consent in shared spaces?
PLAYER PROMPTS
How does asking for permission change how you treat people’s stuff — and their space?
What does trust in a locker room actually require from everyone?
When you mess up, do you own it or hope it goes unnoticed?
