When “Focus on the Game” Becomes Denial
Tyreek Hill, star wide receiver for the Dolphins, has been publicly accused by his ex-wife of domestic violence on multiple occasions. Despite those allegations, when asked, Hill recently said that the focus should remain on football—not on what’s happening off the field. I won’t say I’m shocked. I won’t say I’m surprised. This is what we (the athletics community) do when one of our own is implicated in harm. We pull an ostrich move—stick our heads in the sand—yell “keep the main thing the main thing,” and pretend the game matters more than the lives in our team room or their circles.
This isn’t defending focus. It’s intentional distraction. A purposeful denial of our shared humanity.
I’m not going to debate the usual “we don’t know everything” or “it’s he said / she said” bullshit people hide behind. If you want that conversation, read Credible by Deborah Tuerkheimer; Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft; or Sexual Justice by Alexandra Brodsky. But as a coach, you cannot truly believe that running today’s practice plan to perfection is in the best interest of a player living through this.
What about something as simple as saying, “Go get your shit together”—take care of yourself first—while this plays out, or offering them a leave of absence during the process? Is that too much? Or is it too risky for your wins this weekend? What does your priority really say?
Coach Prompts
If one of your players was accused or going through serious personal trauma, would you know how to shift your practice plan to support them?
What boundaries or precedents do you want your team to follow when off-field issues must be honored in your daily plan?
Do you believe sports culture still allows someone to be punished socially for seeking help? How do you counter that?
Player Prompts
If you were in Tyreek Hill’s position, would you feel safe telling your coach you need space—even if it meant being benched or missing games?
What would it mean, to you, to have a coach say “Your well-being matters more than our game tonight”?
When you hear “focus on football,” do you feel supported—or silenced?
