“When ‘Stay Present’ Becomes Emotional Avoidance”

I first pegged this post as a reax piece because anytime I see someone equate emotions with weakness, my TeamsOfMen radar lights up. The caption — “Emotions beat teams more than their opponents do” — immediately triggered that response.

It’s a common refrain in coaching circles, and one that’s drenched in ManBox thinking: the idea that we should train our players to become emotionless machines, perfectly composed and fully detached. But that’s not strength. That’s suppression.

So I clicked the video expecting more of that “stoic equals strong” messaging — and what I found instead surprised me.

There’s nothing in the video about emotions. No actual mention of “emotional control,” no insight into emotional fluency. Just the usual motivational buzzwords:
Be where your feet are. Attack every rep. Win every possession.

And while those might sound good on a T-shirt or locker room wall, I think they also raise an important question:

At what point does “staying present” become just another way of avoiding presence—of never allowing yourself to actually feel?

If we train athletes to constantly “attack the next moment,” when do they get to feel joy? When do they reflect? When do they recover?

“Zero-zero mentality” might win games. But if that same mindset leaks into how they process life, it can lead to numbness, not resilience.

Coaches — let’s teach focus, yes. But let’s also teach humanity.
Being present doesn’t mean shutting off emotion. It means noticing it, naming it, and then choosing your next step with intention.

Coach Prompts

• When do you catch yourself using language that sounds like “attack the moment” or “next play”? What tone does it set for your team emotionally?

• Does your team know the difference between composure and suppression?

• How can you model being emotionally honest without losing competitive edge?

Player Prompts

• When’s the last time you celebrated something fully — or admitted you were frustrated — without fear of being judged as “soft”?

• How does staying “locked in” help you… and when does it start to hurt you?

• What’s one emotion you’ve learned to name this season that used to just show up as anger or silence?