You’ve Never Heard of It. Your Players Might Be Living It.
I came across this piece by Daniel Kolitz titled “The Goon Squad” — and while it’s beautifully written (and I urge coaches and parents of young men to read it, though fair warning: it’s long and graphic) — it sparked a conversation with my oldest son that opened my eyes.
I literally ran down the hallway and asked him, “Dawg, have you heard of gooners?!” His response: “Yeah dad, that’s been around for a couple years.” My jaw hit the floor.
I consider myself pretty in tune with cultural trends among guys aged 16-23, yet I had never heard of “gooning” until reading this article on X. I’m not going to waste words trying to explain what “gooning” entails (partly because Kolitz does a brilliant job; partly because I can’t do it justice). But what I do want coaches to take away is this:
Learn the terminology. Be on high alert.
Words like
wankbattle
goonfuel
gooning,
gooncaves
Discord
should set off alarms in your team room. Seeing or hearing those should trigger a response — not a shrug. Because this is part of a digital culture of young men that often drifts into isolation, shame, and destructive habits. We’re in a moment where algorithms deliver more than memes—they deliver identity and community to young men who feel unseen. If we’re serious about building healthy cultures for our teams, this is our work too.
Coach Prompts
What new vocabulary are your players introducing behind closed doors that you haven’t paused to ask about?
Do you have a system for surfacing what your players are watching, doing, or saying online when you’re not in the room?
How do you respond when you learn there’s a language or community your players engage with that you don’t fully understand?
Player Prompts
What’s a term or phrase you’ve heard recently that you don’t fully understand—but everyone else uses?
When you’re alone with your screen late at night—what are you really looking for? Connection or escape?
How would you describe the difference between being part of a community and being trapped in a loop?
