Attraction Isn’t Obligation — No Matter What the Man Box Says
This clip has been circulating — a fan sitting absurdly close to the Warriors bench catches GP2 telling a story about inviting someone to a game, and Kuminga immediately responds with:
“Oh you GOTTA hit.”
Setting aside the wild issue of fans being close enough to record intimate conversations (that’s a whole other blog about consent and boundaries), it’s that phrase — you gotta hit — that grabbed me.
Because that line isn’t just a joke. It’s an instruction. It’s a mandate.
It’s the exact Man Box wiring boys absorb long before they ever date anyone:
If there’s mutual interest…If she says yes to hanging out…If you put in effort…
Then sex is the expected ending.
“You gotta” is the voice that tells young men they fail if sex doesn’t happen.
“You gotta” is the voice that turns attraction into entitlement.
“You gotta” is what teaches boys that women owe them access to their body if the vibes are right.
And this is coming from pros — so imagine the pressure on a 15-, 17-, 19-year-old trying to figure out what it means to be a man in front of their teammates.
Show this clip to your players.
Ask them honestly:
Would you say the same thing? Would you co-sign it? Would you tell that story the same way? And if so… what does that reveal about the expectations you’re carrying?
If the answer is yes, we’ve got WORK to do.
There is no version of masculinity worth building that confuses interest with obligation.
Nothing is required sexually — ever.
Consent is not a story arc. It’s not a reward. It’s not a scoreboard.
It’s a choice that belongs to both people, every time.
COACH PROMPTS
Where are your players learning the idea that sex is an achievement to “secure,” not a choice to honor?
How often do you challenge the casual phrases that reinforce sexual entitlement?
What would it look like to build a team vocabulary that respects boundaries instead of mocking them?
PLAYER PROMPTS
What does “you gotta hit” imply about what you think women owe you?
Who are you trying to impress when you talk like this — and why?
How would your decisions change if you removed pressure, expectation, and performance from intimacy?
