Coaches Who Reflect Together, Evolve Together

I’m fortunate that my varsity assistant, Kyle McNally, not only possesses a high-level hoops IQ but also played for me in college. He’s been invaluable—not just in scheme and culture creation—but in helping me reflect on the why of me (seeing as he’s experienced it both as a player and now as a staff member).

Yesterday, he brought something to me from a district training he attended: the Crisis Cycle (the image above). Our conversation about it—and the action plan that followed—was another example of why I think TeamsOfMen work has to be embraced by staffs across the country.

While I’m sharing the graphic, I won’t try to teach it here (hopefully, your own curiosity leads you to dig deeper). What I will share is that between the two of us asking questions and brainstorming application, we came up with at least three things we wish we’d handled better a season ago—and with the knowledge we have now, three things we’re ready to implement this year.

None of those had anything to do with X’s and O’s. All had to do with the young men we serve—what they’re most likely carrying into practice or games, and what we can do to meet them where they are and show them real paths to growth.

We probably said “I should have” or “Wish we would have” four or five times each.That’s the Self Reflection + Self Interrogation = Self Awareness cycle (we even have a shirt for it).
I didn’t initiate that conversation—my staff did.

And that’s a huge sign to me that we’ve got the right people in place.

Coach Prompts

• When was the last time your staff reflected collectively on how you respond to players in moments of crisis?

• Which phase of the Crisis Cycle do your team’s systems—and your own reactions—tend to fall apart in?

• Are you modeling calm behavior for your players… or matching their escalation with your own?

• What would it look like if “practice planning” included time for emotional regulation and staff reflection?

• How often do you and your assistants use I should have or we should have as growth language, not guilt language?

Player Prompts

• When you start to feel frustration or embarrassment in practice, what does your version of the “Crisis Cycle” look like?

• Which phase are you usually in before someone else notices?

• What would it take for you to ask for space before things boil over?

• How do you want your coaches or teammates to respond when you’re escalating?

• What’s one way you can practice returning yourself to baseline before a mistake defines your next play?