We Keep Asking Women to Be the Adults…While Letting The Men Slide
Step one for today’s blog: click on the screengrab above and actually watch the video.
You’ll see KEZI 9 News reporter Olivia Cleary having to engage every professional fiber in her body to deal with a group of drunk college men clowning around her live hit from the Oregon State football game this weekend.
Now—you could argue with me: “Kip, you only care because you know her parents.”
And you’d be half-right. Yes, I know Olivia’s mom, Valerie Johnson, who was my AD when I was a college basketball coach (and one of the best I’ve ever worked for). And I coached against her dad, Tim Cleary, for years.
But the rest of why I’m in my feelings? That’s about yet another example of our collective dipshittery as men whenever we get together in groups.
You’re telling me that a group of 5–6 dudes—who might have been drinking, but clearly weren’t too far gone to know what they were doing—thought it was funny to hijack a woman’s job and embarrass her on live TV? That’s not just “immaturity.” That’s entitlement in action.
And the people laughing behind them? They’re cosigning it.
The excuses—“boys will be boys,” “they were just drunk,” “she handled it like a pro”—only make it worse. Of course she handled it like a pro. She had to. Because we’ve built a world that expects women to manage our bullshit gracefully.
So no, she doesn’t need me—or anyone—to “save her.” What she needs is for coaches, mentors, and male leaders to interrupt the men doing this and the ones laughing along with them.
My team—and your team—should be full of dudes who, at minimum, step in when they see this happen, and ideally, never think to act like this in the first place.
That’s not overreaction. That’s accountability.
Coach Prompts
What’s your staff’s plan when your athletes cross lines with language or behavior toward women—on campus, in the stands, or online?
How often do you reinforce that “locker room talk” and public behavior are connected?
If you showed this clip to your team, what percentage would recognize something wrong vs. just laugh?
Are you building a program where your players would step in—or join in?
Player Prompts
When someone around you starts crossing the line, do you have the courage to say something—or do you laugh it off?
What message do you send to women around you through your words and reactions?
What does “being a man” look like in moments like this—silence or interruption?
What kind of teammate are you when nobody’s keeping score?
