Today's the type of blog that is less LESSON PLAN and more "this is what the work looks like in terms of shaping a space."
I was aware of many of the words above (the entire list can be found in the original post from @teachusconsent and @theman_cave_aus), but I also recognize that my fluency is rooted in daily examination of the manosphere. Other coaches are not necessarily running adjacent to that research and information, so maybe your guys have been tossing these terms around with the freedom of knowing you and your staff aren't aware of what they're saying.
Now, I also know that my space is used to me, in the very first meeting of any season (regular season, summer season, etc.), reestablishing the way we roll. And that includes what and what #wordsmatter.
They know (because I say it, I SHOW it in print and on screen, and I hold to it via policy) which words are NOT ALLOWED to exist in our space.
Any racist slur
Any ableist slur
Any homophobic/transphobic slur
Any F-bombs
Using those is an automatic trigger of our consequence-to-accountability process.
What I've decided to do with the manosphere words is ADD them to our season launch Conduct Meeting (see below).
You can see that I explicitly lay out that MANOSPHERE verbiage will trigger an interruption and response from me. IN THE SESSION, we will then spend 5–8 minutes laying out what those terms are, what they mean and why I want our guys to recognize the ideas and expectations attached to them.
Why?
Because some of them will not believe me. Some of them will be fluent and will want to test my vocabulary. Some of them will NOT be aware of these words, but I will now introduce them as real letters and hopefully steer them from ever adopting them. And others, well, they are going to use the word and have to model what happens when we come down on them.
And I want to make one distinction here. I'm not suggesting every word on that glossary automatically warrants the same response as a racist or homophobic slur. But I AM saying that when those words show up in our space, we're not going to pretend we don't know what they mean or where they come from.
Because the language is only part of what we're confronting. The beliefs about women, relationships, power and manhood that can travel WITH that language are what I want our guys to learn to recognize and interrogate.
That's the process. That's the work. And I'm glad today we got to share how we embrace it.
Coach Prompts
How many of the terms in the manosphere glossary did you recognize BEFORE seeing this post? What does your familiarity (or lack thereof) tell you about your ability to recognize the language your players may be using?
What specific language expectations do you establish at the beginning of your season? Are those expectations written, discussed and consistently enforced, or are you assuming your players already know where the boundaries are?
If a player used a manosphere term during practice tomorrow, how would you respond? Could you explain the meaning and underlying message of the term, or would you need to do some learning yourself before addressing it?
Player Prompts
Agree, Disagree or Unsure: Using a word as a joke doesn't make it harmless, even if everyone in the conversation understands that it's supposed to be funny.
Which words or phrases from the manosphere glossary have you heard or seen online, in school or around teammates? What do you think those words communicate about women, relationships or what it means to be a man?
If a coach tells you a particular word or phrase isn't acceptable in your team space, is it enough for them to simply prohibit it, or do you deserve an explanation of WHY? What would make that conversation meaningful rather than just another rule?
