“Just calm down.”
“Hey, hey, let it go man.”
“Deep breaths bud.”
I know you’ve said these at some point in your coaching career.
You’ve said them to your entire program. You’ve said them to a small group of players. You’ve said them to one individual player.
And you’ve felt the need to say them (or versions of them) in moments where you felt your team was disregulated emotionally. They were raging, “crashing out” and stuck in a moment of outward displays of anger.
It is a very common situation that we will all face in the coaching industry. Whether that be in a game or practice, at the middle school level all the way through professional players, emotional regulation (and, honestly, specifically the failure to have that skill) can define an entire season.
So, when I came across the IG post above (by @thenervsoussytemteacher) and the opening slide said “Sneaky Regulation Ideas” I had to open it. What I found were unique mini sessions you could do with your team to try and work on the exact “HOW” when you say “calm down” or “breathe.”
Now, some of them might feel elementary to you. BUT, if we’re being honest, breathing is basic. But it’s also something we have, in all likelihood, put actual time toward repping in our lives. So, taking the feather example above, imagine the novelty and context bonus you will get from asking them to do something completely foreign, but so relevant to their experience.
And imagine being able to reference that rep the next time you have a player on your bench who is struggling to regulate himself. Now, when you ask him to breathe, you've actually given him something to draw from.
I'd encourage you to scroll through the entire post, pick one of the activities and find five minutes for it in an upcoming practice.
Coach Prompts
When you ask a player to "calm down," what specifically are you expecting him to DO? Have you ever intentionally taught him how to do it?
How do YOU regulate yourself in the moments when your players are emotionally dysregulated? What are they learning from watching you in those moments?
Look at your most recent practice plan. How much time was devoted to developing physical skills? Tactical skills? Emotional regulation skills? What might five minutes devoted to that last category do for your team?
Player Prompts
Agree, Disagree or Unsure: Emotional regulation is a skill you can improve through practice, just like shooting, passing or dribbling.
What are the first physical signs that tell you you're about to "crash out"? Where in your body do you feel them, and what could you do in that moment?
When a coach or teammate tells you to "calm down," does it actually help you? What could they say or do instead that would help you regain control?
