If The Human Is Struggling, So Is The Player

This isn’t the flex this post thinks it is.

Why?

Because of this line:

“The only thing I care about is this: Are you going to produce in between those white lines when we play this season?”

That, from this particular coach, says everything you need to know about the blind spot he has. Sure, at the Division I level, getting a player to perform on game day is a huge part of the job. No one is disputing that. But the idea that you can somehow separate his production from his humanity is where this framing loses me.

If a young man is operating under the belief that his worth is tied to the things this coach claims not to care about — followers, rankings, metrics, offers — then you are never going to reach the underlying force that is actually driving him.

You won’t reach what motivates him.

You won’t reach what destabilizes him.

And you certainly won’t reach what needs to change in order for growth to happen.

The post later moves into failure and the importance of having a plan for when things on the diamond get hard. That part is sound. Players absolutely need to be prepared for adversity.

For going 0-for-4.

For sitting the bench.

For getting booed.

But doesn’t that same logic require the coach to have plans and processes in place for when the human is struggling? Because if the player is lost in a world of looks-maxing, stat-maxing, and manosphere-style self-valuation, doesn’t it become the coach’s responsibility to have some strategy in place to interrupt that approach when it starts costing him performance? If that worldview is driving the slump, then you can’t coach the slump without coaching the worldview.

That’s the blind spot.

This myopic vision of what coaches do — and what supposedly “isn’t our job” — is exactly why TeamsOfMen exists. The man matters. How he feels. How he interprets the world. How he believes he is supposed to move through the world. That directly impacts how he plays.

Those things are intertwined.

And so is how you coach with how you operate as a person. You don’t get one without the other.

Coach Prompts

• What parts of your players’ humanity are you pretending don’t affect performance?

• What beliefs about worth and identity are driving their play?

• Do you have a process for when the person is struggling, not just the athlete?

Player Prompts

• What do you believe your worth is tied to right now?

• How does how you feel off the field impact how you perform on it?

• What happens to your confidence when success is your only identity?