The Language Of Legitimate Praise
Today’s blog has to do with this post, originally by @teachwithbronte on Instagram, and it immediately caught my attention because in reimagining manhood, we have to level up our ability to authentically and honestly praise one another. For too long, we’ve settled for the quick “good job” or the high five, and while those are fine, too often we stop there. We haven’t built the habit of sharing genuine reasons we are impressed by one another, and going deeper has too often been framed in male spaces as “soft” or worse.
As coaches, we can fall into this trap too. We can underfeed our players legitimate praise—not fake hype, not empty compliments, but real, specific acknowledgment of what they are doing well. This is not to say these nine examples are perfect must-uses for you and your staff tomorrow. That’s not really the point. The point is that just skimming them should at the very least get your brain moving. What actually fits your voice? Which of these sounds like something you would genuinely say? Which could become a launchpad for phrases you create yourself?
I also think there’s something valuable in the shock value of using one of these with your guys for the first time. You say something like, “I love how you explained your thinking,” and you may immediately get, “What the heck does that mean, Coach?” Honestly, that’s perfect. Now you have a conversation. Now you’re not just praising effort, you’re teaching language, reflection, and meaning.
That’s modeling emotional growth. That’s connection building. That’s helping young men get more fluent in how they see and speak value in one another. Easy win-win.
Coach Prompts
How often is your praise specific instead of generic?
What kinds of growth do you notice but rarely say out loud?
What phrases sound authentic in your voice?
Player Prompts
What kind of praise actually means something to you?
When has someone named something specific you did well?
What’s harder for guys: giving praise or receiving it?
