If You Won’t Talk About This, Who Will?

Today’s blog is in reaction to this Instagram post from @real_toons and its framing of long-term relationships and intimacy.

The focus here on COERCION vs CONSENT is so needed for the young men in your program AND for the adult men on your staff as well.

I won’t spoil the whole cartoon, because honestly the post itself is a ready-made slideshow you can swipe, pause, discuss, and swipe again (rinse and repeat) with your program. But in essence it portrays something very real: what happens in committed relationships when one partner is feeling a certain way about sex and the other partner is on the opposite page.

This is going to happen to every single player on your team at some point in life.

Even the suggestions from the friend — including his solution of “just hit the HUB” (a reference to Pornhub) — are rooted in what many of your players would actually hear from a confidant. For a lot of young men, porn is presented as the obvious solution when they’re “horny” or “ready” and their partner isn’t. So the cartoon isn’t unrealistic. If anything, it’s uncomfortably accurate.

Which brings us to the real questions for coaches.

• Is the content too real for you?

• Is the subject matter off limits in your space?

• If YES is the answer to either of those, then we have to ask something uncomfortable:

• Can you really claim your program is preparing young men for life?

• Do you really have the kind of genuine relationships with your players that we as coaches say we want?

If NO, and you agree these conversations matter, then the next question becomes:

What’s stopping you? Parent concerns. Administrative hesitation.Your own confidence in leading conversations like this. Those barriers are real.

And they are exactly why TeamsOfMen exists.

Let’s talk.

Coach Prompts

• Have you ever discussed coercion vs consent with your players?

• What messages about sex and relationships do players get from their peers?

• Where are young men learning how to handle sexual rejection?

Player Prompts

• What is the difference between consent and coercion?

• Why do some people keep asking after someone has already said “no”?

• Where do guys get their expectations about sex and relationships?