The Palms-Up Problem

Today’s blog is in response to the interaction video making the rounds between Memphis Grizzlies players Ja Morant and Vince Williams Jr.

I’m not going to speculate on what they’re arguing about. I’ve seen the “expert lip reader” takes floating around — I’m not doing that.

The TeamsOfMen teaching moment here is body language, specifically the hand gesture Ja uses a lot: the double palms up look.

I’ve argued for a long time with my players (college and high school) that double palms up is often the last bastion of regulating anger and frustration. Once you hit that posture, you’re inches away from giving up on rationale, giving up on the conversation, or deciding the other person isn’t worth trying with.

So we’ve taught our guys a simple replacement this year:

Take those palms and press them together (almost like prayer hands), and bring them to your sternum — or point them toward the actual topic.

It’s a redirect. A focal point. A way to center yourself and your feelings so you can stay productive instead of sliding into contempt.

Is it foolproof? Of course not.

But we believe conflict is inevitable — it doesn’t have to be hurtful.

We believe truth matters — but truth doesn’t have to be delivered like an asshole.

NOTE: If you show this to your players, I’d play it on mute first. The body language tells you plenty. And pay attention to the moments where others in the org feel it and try to step in — that’s part of the lesson too.

Coach Prompts

• What “tells” do your players show right before they spiral—palms up, eye rolls, walking away, sarcasm?

• Do you coach body language the same way you coach footwork and spacing? Why or why not?

• What’s one replacement cue you can teach your team for conflict moments (a physical reset, a phrase, a breath)?

Player Prompts

• What does your body do when you’re about to check out of a conversation?

• When was the last time you were “right” but still made it worse by how you delivered it?

• What’s one small move you can make to stay productive in conflict—without pretending you’re not mad?