Today…I don’t.
Writing every day is awesome.
It feeds a drive I’ve had to express myself via the written word since I was in fourth grade.
But the topics I choose to tackle here in our TeamsOfMen blog are heavy. They are hard. And oftentimes, they are emotionally and physically draining.
This week has been engulfed by the Cornel 7×57 (I’m using that phrasing now because, as many smarter people online have pointed out, the failure of humanity extended past the 7 alleged rapists and into the group chat of silence they sent ‘Free Pu**y’ tests to).
Writing about them, texting about them, posting about them, and having at least 10 different conversations with coaches of male athletes who are in the ToM ecosystem. That’s a good thing, as we obviously have work to do in calling more men into the prevention space.
But it does become exhausting…maybe not in terms of the “my eyes are closing and I can’t stop them” way we think of physical exhaustion…but in the “Jesus, I am DONE with this shit emotionally” way.
Now, I recognize I’m carrying NOTHING compared to actual survivors. Nothing compared to frontline victim advocates and support networks. NOTHING compared to so many women IN THIS.
That doesn’t make it less taxing to feel like we’ve been screaming into the ether here at TeamsOfMen for over a decade that “You’re team room is where you can make an actual difference” only to be met, if we’re being honest (especially in terms of revenue from sales of licenses that we measure as “signing up to do this work”) silence.
And yes, I am using the measuring stick of dollars and sales.
Because when a coach, school or organization buys a TeamsOfMen license, that is one tangible version of someone saying, “We’re signing up to do this work.” If you VALUE something you have to prove it with TIME and or MONEY invested into it.
And too often, they don’t.
It’s beyond frustrating.
It’s actually enraging and hope-stealing.
For every “Kip, this made me realize we have to bring your stuff to our place” there is silence, an ostrich like plunging of heads into the ground and doubling down on practice plans of pure sport, no character.
I don’t have the answer here today, In reality, I barely had the will to write a blog post today. I had a “what is the fucking point” moment.
I’ll be fine tomorrow. I’ll have a renewed zest for it tomorrow. I’ll probably even had a refilled cup of delusion that we CAN do this.
But I don’t have it today.
And maybe the most honest thing I can write today is that doing work you believe deeply matters does not mean you always believe it is working.
Today, I don’t.
Until tomorrow…
Coach Prompts
When was the last time you wondered whether the “life lessons” you say you teach are actually reaching your players
Where have you confused talking about character with actually creating time in your program to PRACTICE it
If your practice plan shows exactly what you value, how much space did you intentionally give this week to anything beyond the sport?
Player Prompts
What is something you’ve heard repeatedly from coaches that you didn’t understand the importance of until later?
When the adults around you keep bringing up difficult topics, what makes you engage instead of tuning them out?
What is one conversation about life, relationships or manhood you wish your team would actually make space for?
