Tragedy Reminds Us: Gender Violence Will Touch Every Team

I’m always cautious about the timing of responses to tragedy, especially when applying a TeamsOfMen lens. Current events hold tremendous potential to educate and encourage unlearning, but I never want to come across as ambulance chasing.

That said, the horrific murder of Timberwolves star Naz Reid’s sister, Toraya, by her boyfriend Shaquille Green, is another painful example of truths we as coaches, athletes, and men must embrace.

First: No matter the level of play, the sport, or the location, your team will be impacted by gender violence—most often the kind perpetrated by men.

Second: No amount of “winning”—championships, money, accolades—shields us from this harm. Success in sport does not insulate us from the realities of violence.

Third: When men aren’t taught how to process and unpack negative emotions, those feelings almost always spill out on the people closest to them. We know this. Data and history prove this. Our job is to equip young men with better tools to pause, process, reflect, and respond.

Fourth: When tragedy hits close to home—whether to one of our players, or to someone they love—how do we show up? What do we say? What do we text? How do we support without overstepping, while letting them guide what help looks like?

These are not abstract questions. They are urgent. Because silence and avoidance only leave our guys unprepared to face the realities that tragedies like this put on display.

Coach Prompts

• When tragedy strikes, how does your program respond? Do you have a plan—or just silence?

• What tools are you giving your players to process anger, fear, and disappointment in healthy ways?

• Do you talk with your team about gender violence before it hits close to home?

Player Prompts

• Who do you turn to when you’re carrying heavy emotions—do you feel safe saying it out loud?

• If someone you care about was harmed, what kind of support would you need from your team?

• Do you believe your team would show up for you in a moment like this? Why or why not?