We Taught Them to Laugh At This BS
This shit ain’t funny. (And yes, I know it’s from a parody account).
But what’s worse is, with 1.1 million views, I think I might in the minority with that opinion.
This is, like earlier this week and the mosh pits at dances, another area where if you apply what we believe in here at TeamsOfMen, you see the damn Manbox infusing and bathing our culture in it’s nonsense.
The Oklahoma City Thunder just lost two players, (Jaylen Williams and Cason Wallace) to probably season ending injuries. Chet Holmgren has had REAL, painful injuries throughout his career (such is life as a 7’3 person who spends his days running and jumping) and battled back through all of them. And this account (whether it be bot or human) decided to make light of both those facts and something that can happen to women’s genitals (often BECAUSE of some version of SA/violence).
And it got people snickering and laughing online.
Put this up in your next staff meeting (then in your team film session). I guarantee (because I have been dumb enough myself to do so) a version of this has been said by coaches and players in your orbit.
“He’s got a pulled vagina.”
“He sprained his pu**y.”
“He’s on his period this month.”
A fool in your orbit has said these things when someone on your roster is hurt, or showing signs of injury. We are bathed in this language on practice fields and courts across the country.
Sure, there are examples of guys who aren’t what we would call “resilient” or have a “low pain threshold”. Those people are out there and it is frustrating when they don’t play through something our medical staff believe they can.
But to equate that ALWAYS with the feminine is to acquiesce to the Manbox and it’s “anything woman is weak” nonsense.
Guys, you know when there is likely to be a vaginal tear? When women are in labor man. Bringing life into the damn world.
You want that pain do ya?
I doubt it.
And that's the absurdity of the whole damn thing. We take a part of the human body capable of enduring extraordinary pain and use it as shorthand for weakness.
But here's what bothers me even more than the original post.
I know that somewhere today, a coach is going to see this, laugh, and share it with another coach. Players will pass it around in their group chats. And the next time a guy gets hurt, or doesn't respond to pain the way someone thinks he should, some version of this language will come spilling out.
Because we've rehearsed it. Over and over and over again.
And every time we do, we're teaching boys that being compared to a woman is an insult. That femininity is weakness. That the worst thing you can be as a male athlete is something resembling female.
THAT is the Manbox at work.
So, coaches, don't just tell your guys this isn't funny.
Ask them WHY it's supposed to be funny.
What exactly are we laughing at? What are we suggesting about women? What are we teaching one another about pain, injury, and toughness?
And then ask yourself how many times you've contributed to that very lesson.
Coaching Prompts
When was the last time you heard a coach or player use female anatomy, menstruation or femininity as an insult? What was your response?
How have your own words or reactions reinforced the idea that toughness and masculinity are inseparable?
If your players were asked why comparing a male athlete to a woman is funny, what do you think their answers would reveal about your team's culture?
Player Prompts
Agree or Disagree: Calling a male athlete a feminine name when he's injured is harmless if everyone knows it's a joke. Why?
What does comparing an injured male athlete to a woman suggest about how we view women's strength and pain?
If someone on your team regularly made jokes like this, what would make you willing to challenge him instead of laughing along?
