When New Tools Threaten Old Scripts

Today’s blog is about a discussion on the JAAM podcast on why some people fight sex education so hard.

Quick note: it’s a progressive take. Those of you who read me know that’s where I lean, too. But even if you don’t share that worldview, I want you to consider the core argument underneath it:

Once you know, you can’t un-know.

It’s the same thing we deal with in sports and life.

Once your players learn the expectations for a play, a defense, or a training standard… they can’t pretend they don’t anymore.
Once you learn the expectations of punctuality at your job… you can’t keep showing up late and act confused.

The JAAM conversation highlights the same dynamic with sex education and relationship skills:

When you give young people real information — boundaries, consent, healthy communication, red flags — you’re handing them tools that make it easier to notice when someone is violating those standards. They can’t live in the dark anymore. And neither can the adults around them.

That’s why this stuff gets resisted so aggressively. Not because knowledge is dangerous — but because knowledge creates accountability.

TeamsOfMen is built on the belief that young men want to be better, want to be good people. And when we stop speaking in vague warnings and start giving them the “how”… most of them lean in.

Coach Prompts

• Where do you stay vague because clarity would require you (and your staff) to hold a harder line?

• What “life skill” do you assume players should already know, but you’ve never actually taught?

• When players learn better, are you prepared to be held to that same standard?

Player Prompts

• Where do you see guys crossing lines—and what do you usually do in that moment?

• What would it look like to be a teammate who makes your circle safer, not just funnier?

• What’s one boundary you need to get clearer on—in how you talk, flirt, joke, or pressure?