Whose Face Is the Story?
I made a deliberate choice here today with the screengrab above (and really the link/article you’ll land on if you click it).
That is Lakeeta Vaccaro, ex-wife of NFL star Tyreek Hill.
That is Lakeeta Vaccaro, sister of former NFL star Kenny Vaccaro.
That is Lakeeta Vaccaro, a woman on the witness stand in a courtroom recounting the emotional and physical abuse she says she suffered during her marriage to Hill—including while she was pregnant.
I purposely didn’t put a picture of Hill here.
I also purposely didn’t put a picture of her brother here.
Because too often I know even I have been too quick to frame these DV incidents/trials/stories around the fame and stature of the person accused of abuse (in this case, Hill).
And, if you have your players do a quick Google search of this situation, you’ll see Lakeeta’s picture in small circles around an action shot of her ex scoring touchdowns OR, even more likely, an IG screengrab of them glammed up.
What you’re much less likely to see is Tyreek Hill sitting in a courtroom as the defendant while the mother of one of his children recounts what she says he did to her.
And, if it even is reported on by the Adam Schefters of the world on social media, watch what happens next.
How quickly does coverage move from what she is saying happened to her to what happens next for HIM?
Can he play?
Who might sign him?
Could the Kansas City Chiefs use him?
The entire coverage apparatus around stories like these can become so steeped in excuse and DARVO culture that I literally want to vomit.
What I want you to do, as a coach here on the TeamsOfMen blog, is force yourself to watch even five minutes of her testimony.
Play a couple of clips for your players (maybe 30 seconds each) and then ask them:
“If you were the GM of an NFL team, knowing Hill’s Pro Bowl history AND knowing what you just heard being alleged in this courtroom, what would you say to a coach who came into your office and asked you to ‘Go get Tyreek’?”
And then LISTEN. Record what you HEAR. Record what you observe.
Who immediately talks about football?
Who immediately talks about her?
Who needs more evidence?
Who attacks her credibility?
Who starts searching for reasons why what Hill could do for their team outweighs what they just heard?
Because those answers will give you a window into how victim advocacy actually operates in your space—not how everyone claims it does.
Coach Prompts
When an athlete is accused of harming someone, whose future do you instinctively start worrying about first?
When your players discuss DV or SA allegations involving an athlete, what do their FIRST responses reveal about whose humanity they center?
Could you listen to your players wrestle with this question without immediately correcting them long enough to learn what your team culture has actually taught them?
Player Prompts
When you heard the allegations against Hill, what was the first thing you wondered about: her, him, or football? Why?
How much should someone's ability to help your team matter when you're deciding how to respond to allegations that they harmed someone?
If the person accused weren't famous, wealthy or great at football, would you evaluate the same allegations differently?
