Love Isn’t Confusing—Unhealthy Scripts Are

Today’s blog is in reflection of a post from @loveisrespectofficial (on Instagram) that lays out simple reminders about what love actually is.

Honestly, this is less a “feel-good February post” and more a plain-language relationship gut check. A quiet but powerful list that asks us to examine both our relationships and the beliefs we carry about what relationships are supposed to look like.

The timing matters. It’s February. Valentine’s Day is coming. A lot of our athletes—and plenty of us as coaches—are thinking about love, expectations, pressure, and what we think we’re supposed to tolerate.

If you’re in a relationship you’re grateful for, this list can be affirming.

If you’re single, it still matters—because it can validate why something didn’t work, or help clarify what you don’t want to normalize going forward.

Here’s the part that matters most for those of us working with male athletes:

How often do you think young men are explicitly taught what healthy love looks like?

Not what looks impressive.

Not what feels dominant.

Not what gets laughs in a group chat.

But what is safe. Respectful. Honest. Mutual.

The manbox does not want them to see this list.

It doesn’t want them to know these standards exist.

Because once they do, they can’t unknow them.

And if our vision for TeamsOfMen is breaking down manbox walls one team room at a time, then this isn’t optional content. This is a must-share. A must-discuss. A conversation that gives our guys language, boundaries, and permission they may have never been offered.

Coach Prompts

• When was the last time your players heard an adult clearly define what healthy love looks like?

• Which parts of this list might be hardest for young men to believe—and why?

• How does your program address relationships beyond “don’t mess up”?

• Player Prompts

• Which line on this list stood out to you the most? Why?

• Have you ever mistaken pressure, jealousy, or control for care?

• What would change in your relationships if safety and respect were non-negotiable?