“She Not Gonna Let You Hit”
I love JAAM pod. But before you click the clip above, especially if you're an older coach, you need to prep yourself for the language. Lots of soft “a” n-words and f bombs used by the hosts.
But I’m going to be fully transparent: the dipshittery they address sometimes requires real ire and rage.
In this episode, the group is clapping back at the comments their podcast episode defending Megan Thee Stallion garnered after NBA star Klay Thompson cheated on her and ended their relationship. As the hosts share, many men decided the only reason another man would defend a woman is because he wanted to sleep with her. Hence the flood of “she not gonna let you hit” comments in their mentions.
I promise you, your players in your locker room have used that exact phrase or one of the thousand versions of it. And as the hosts so deftly point out, that mindset is rooted in a misogynistic belief that the only reason to be kind to a woman is to find a way into her pants.
“It’s literally coded language…you’re saying there is no legitimate reason for you to be defending this woman right now unless you wanted to have sex with them.”
Then they land on a touchy but painfully accurate point: too many men are “too porned out.”
“…they actually don’t think about things in the logical response, because bro, you don’t go outside. Literally.”
Sit with that for a second.
Many of your young men are being introduced to sex, relationships, women, power, and intimacy primarily through porn on their phones. Not parents. Not coaches. Not healthy conversations. Porn. And the sheer terror that should elicit in all of us is not being talked about enough.
I’ll let you engage with the rest of the clip as is, but honestly, even if you just texted this to your team group chat, there’s tremendous value in presenting a counterbalance to the nonsense takes flooding young men’s feeds every day.
Especially the ones blaming Megan Thee Stallion for Klay Thompson’s inability to stay faithful.
Coach Prompts
What phrases get said in your locker room that are dismissed as “just jokes” but actually reveal deeper beliefs about women?
If porn is the loudest teacher in your players’ lives about sex and relationships, what counterbalance are you intentionally providing?
Are your athletes learning that empathy toward women is human…or transactional?
Player Prompts
Have you ever heard someone get mocked for defending a woman online or in person? Why do you think that happens?
What messages about women and relationships do boys absorb from social media, porn, memes, and group chats?
What would it look like to treat women as people instead of status symbols, punchlines, or access points?
