The Difference Between Mistakes and Patterns
You ever wake up feeling like “I got time today”?
What do I mean by that?
I mean that I find myself writing today in a mood to take on topics that someday I just don’t have the energy for. Topics that I KNOW will lead to back and forths with casuals who haven’t done the reading, haven’t heard the research from experts, and who are so entrenched in a defensive posture that it is mostly pointless to argue with them. But, today is one of those days I feel like writing about it anyway, because the post above from X demands it.
Here’s the gist: this is less a Taylor Lewan specific rant from me than it is a plea to coaches and male athletes to decide what it means to be “a good guy.” What ACTIONS does it actually take for us to reasonably expect society to give us that label…or maybe even better…for us to EARN that label. Why the trigger here from this post about an ex NFL linemen, known for inciting rage responses via hot takes (and actions) suddenly both getting a new show (and no doubt large salary) from ESPN and being exposed for past horrific comments towards a survivor.
We LOVE to hide behind “we don’t know what happened” (right up to the moment we find out what happened and because it doesn’t fit our agenda, decide we can’t EVER decide upon truth unless we phyiscally are present for it).
We LOVE to claim “everyone makes mistakes” but then never demand someone who simply made a mistake display, through actions and words, that the mistake was the outlier of behavior…the singular moment they showed lapse in character, compared to a lifetime of being a good person (most often, the mistake is part of a pattern that is NEVER changed).
If we had a player who consistently made the wrong decision as a quarterback throwing the ball, or a catcher calling pitches or a shooting guard shot selection and they came to our staff one day and said “I”m actually a great decision maker. I apologize for the past 500 times I wasn’t” and then went out and made the exact same mistake, would we rage when someone questioned our sanity for playing him again?
Of course not.
But, coaches and athletes will flood posts above that question Lewan’s character and cape for a guy who as never shown himself to be “above the allegations”.
WHY WHY WHY?
That’s worth your time if you are around your guy’s today.
Coach Prompts
How does your program distinguish between a mistake, a repeated behavior, and a pattern of character?
What actions would convince you that someone has genuinely changed after causing harm?
Do your players believe "being a good guy" is something you claim or something you continually demonstrate?
Player Prompts
What's the difference between apologizing and changing?
If someone calls you "a good guy," what evidence would they point to?
Should people be judged more by what they say about themselves or by the pattern of their actions?
