When Harm Enters The Headlines
I really don’t think continuing to write some version of “Why is this in a blog for coaches today?” is necessarily a strong literary device. But until I find another way to invite coaches into conversations I’ve long believed should be obvious for our profession — and yet somehow remain stuck on the periphery — I suppose I’ll keep asking variations of the question.
Green Bay Packers RB Josh Jacobs was arrested yesterday and is facing serious domestic violence-related charges, including strangulation and suffocation, tied to what authorities describe as an alleged disturbance involving a partner. The case is ongoing, and Jacobs has denied the allegations through counsel.
And I want to put this, AGAIN, in our space because the script surrounding prominent male athletes in moments like this feels painfully familiar.
Player is accused of violence. Media reports the charges. Team withholds commentary until “the legal process plays out.” And because of that vacuum, so much of the airtime immediately shifts toward defending his character, discussing his value to the team, offering up the usual “everyone deserves a second chance” line, or asking the inevitable question: “When will he be able to play again?”
Meanwhile, the person allegedly harmed starts disappearing from the story. Conversations about the broader patterns of behavior that often precede these moments go dark. And then, if actual consequences emerge for the athlete, we collectively act shocked that accountability showed up at all (and God forbid his team not have him for an OTA practice this week).
It’s DARVO. It’s JADE. And it’s rinse repeat.
I will do a full Tom Cruise-on-Oprah’s-couch celebration the first time one of these incidents is met by a panel of violence prevention experts, healthy relationship educators, or even ONE AMERICAN MALE COACH willing to say:
“We need to take a look in our team room and figure out why we are always apologizing for our lack of emotional fluency and the fallout harm that comes from those crash outs.”
It probably won’t happen on ESPN.
So here’s to hoping you have the willingness and bandwidth to do it in your team room today.
Because if you are the “leader of men” and “shaper of culture” your bio claims, then it should absolutely fall inside your wheelhouse to talk with the men in your room about how to handle themselves around partners, around children, and around people with less power — figuratively and literally — than them.
Otherwise, adjust your bio.
